It’s Monday!
The week ahead is a mess.
I really don’t want to have that appointment with Bill on Wednesday. But I am the leader. I have never had anyone like him on my team. If he would only show some maturity and responsibility.
I am certainly not ready for my presentation on Thursday. There are not enough hours in the day to be ready for that. I wonder if it really matters?
There are 1135 emails in my inbox. I keep hoping they will magically disappear.
The team is waiting on me to make a decision regarding next year’s calendar. The decisions are endless.
I have been in this role for . . . too long. But I don’t see any upward mobility on the horizon. This job felt more promising five years ago.
I wish I was more present at home. I can’t miss another one of David’s baseball games. And Catherine has her spring recital next week. Surely that is not the week of the annual exec meetings. I am so tired . . . all the time. Even the dog treats me like a stranger.
Leading use to be exhilarating. The vision was fresh and the challenges were filled with learning. Now I look forward to Friday. I have never had that feeling before.
Low grade failure seems to be the air I breathe.
Am I who they say I am?
Am I what I lead and control?
Am I what I do?
I wonder if it would matter if I didn’t show up tomorrow? Would anyone notice?
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